In Which I Want A Catheter

Pregnancy makes you pee. Especially when little alien demon child won't move up out of the base of your pelvis, even though he's not that big yet and has PLENTY of room and doesn't know what's best for him because soon he'll be too big to swim around in there and won't have a choice. I have a feeling this is going to be a child who loves to be swaddled tightly. Yay.

Therefore, although I have never had one so I can't actually speak to how it feels, I have decided I want a catheter. For the next four months. Please. I understand that they are very uncomfortable, and that they make it hard to walk and move around, blah blah blah I don't care. I am the kind of person who hates taking care of the body that my brain is housed in. I have always been that way: my mother told me that when I was about 5 or 6, we had a conversation about how frustrating I found things like eating and sleeping and bathing, because they all got in the way of the things that I wanted to do. I've come to terms with a lot of that as an adult - since meeting the Hub, for example, I have learned to love food. But going to the bathroom still drives me crazy as a waste of my precious time. So I want a catheter. My birthday's coming up - who's gonna get me one?

In other pregnancy news, at around five months babies' hearing improves. Microphones make them go CRAZY with the running around in utero. I found out that Snert has some functional ears yesterday, when he would not stop with the rocking around the clock to the sound of the cantor singing the prayers for Rosh Hashana. Funny, if he hadn't been so low that it kinda hurt.

Not so much progress on the knitting front. I think I might rip out the collar and reknit it. Also - how come I never knew that it was better to pick up stitches under TWO strands of yarn instead of one? I feel like such a doofus. I went to knittinghelp.com to look at how to knit on i-cord trim, and took a gander at the picking up stitches page. I have always been frustrated with how crappy and stretchy and awful my picked up stitches look, and this is totally the answer.






See?





Knitting the sleeves on is like a beautiful dream from which I hope I will never awaken. The only problem is that in comparison, the picked up stitches around the collar look terrible.





Boo.







I may have to redo that part if I don't cover it with gray i-cord. But gads, do I love those sleeves.
(Like my data in the background? I knew you would.)

My head hurts, and I have to work. So sing along as I head to the bathroom once again, will you?

Sing a song of catheters
that keep the bladder dry.
Four and twenty liters
of urine passing by.

I've spent all my days up,
peeing out my brain.
Oh, how much time I'll save
now I've got a drain!