A friend asked me recently what Snert was made of. I didn't quite know how to answer (skin, blood, proteins, RNAs...), but then she explained that her family always said a baby was made of whatever it was that the mom craved the most during pregnancy. Aha. In that sense, Snert is made of pickles, blueberries, eggplant, grilled cheese sandwiches, and most definately NOT chicken. A little odd in combination, but not all that odd. The grilled cheese thing is a little much, honestly - I'm not above appreciating a good American cheese sometimes over the snootier kinds, even if I have made friends with the cheese guy over at the local market so he'll introduce me to things like Lincolnshire poacher - but I'm going through a pound of Land O' Lakes white every couple of weeks. It's fine though, really.
However.
This weekend I went shopping, as I do every weekend. Got almonds and peaches and veggies, a baguette, some yogurt (which is probably stupid because Snert seems to HATE yogurt, but I miss it, so I took a chance). Talked to the cheese guy, got some Rolf Beeler gruyere, which I would recommend to anyone with a working nose and tastebuds - and I hate gruyere. Num.
Proceeded to the deli counter where I got my Parma proscuitto and American cheese, an embarrassing combination if there ever was one, but they don't laugh at me at Russo's, which is nice.
Scanned the prepared foods counter on the way to the bakery for some pastries for my grandma (she's on a high-fat, high-calorie diet to regain some weight, lucky duck). Nothing much of interest... moving on....
Snert sees the meatloaf.
"I'll have that," he says.
"Interesting," I say to myself. "But we already had breakfast. Remember? Cheerios and blueberries?"
"Meatloaf," says Snert.
"But it's 8:30 in the morning, honey."
"But it's meatloaf, and I want it."
"That bacon on top looks a little gross, and very fatty. It's making me kinda nauseous. How about we make some for dinner this week? I'll get the nice organic meat from Whole Foods, and you know my meatloaf is much better than that stuff."
"No, that meatloaf. NOW."
"Are you kidding? I can't even heat it up at home? It looks all congealed and nasty. Come on, let's wait for my meatloaf, I make it with much leaner beef."
"MeeeeeaaatLOAAAAAAAAFFF NOOWWWWWWWWWWWW."
Yeah. So I had congealed meatloaf in the parking lot at 8:30AM yesterday. Couldn't even get away with having just a bite or two - no no, I had to eat the whole slice.
I feel lucky that I was allowed to pull off the chunks of bacon fat.
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3 comments:
eww eww gross!
i wonder what will happen to me when i'm pregnant? will the squatter demand meat, even though i don't eat it? will have be forced to start eating flesh to appease it? perish the thought!
I don't know. All I can say is that when this sort of thing strikes, the food I'm eating doesn't actually seem gross. I mean, objectively I can see that it's gross, but it's not unpleasant when I'm eating it. I ate an entire plate of Pad Thai the other day, for example. I won't say I enjoyed it, but it was satisfying.
Can I finally be vindicated for craving cherry and banana pizza when I was pregnant with Claire? It was all HER fault!
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